Such a great concept - congrats on nailing the delivery. Horror, suspense, a twist/reveal towards the end. Well done. There's so much to like about the story, but my favorite line (partial line, actually) was a minor one: "...I decide I like Vicki." As someone who is also a writer, I know this type of feedback is borderline useless because I can't tell you exactly WHY I liked it so much, but it just hit right.
Mystery and suspense kept me guessing--anticipating the action. I read it at breakneck speed and didn't feel tired! I just had to know--couldn't put it down. Good balance of casual and quiet--clinical or detective scenes--with implied action, and the worst violence happens "off camera." Jeckyll and Hyde scenario, but more believable and visceral. You gave some innuendo and let our minds fill in the details in ways that only we can scare ourselves the most. Bravo! I feel like I have exercised my brain without having to leave my chair, and my Apple watch will probably tell me my heart rate was elevated. Exercise and entertainment--I think you are on to something!
But I'm going to avoid the urge to go look at myself in the mirror.
Thank you very much for your kind words and thoughtful comments. Very glad you got so much out of it. Interesting idea about Jekyll and Hyde - I'm not sure if I thought of that myself, but I see it now. As for the heart rate, I hope a few deep breaths will help!
Fun read, interesting twist! I’d almost like to see it in longer form I love a good unreliable narrator novel, gives time for the reader to discover all the info bit by bit. As a chronic pain sufferer I felt the cold steel in eyeball description.
Thank you very much. Interesting idea about making it a longer piece. I think I was working to a wordcount at the time. I submitted it to an anthology but it didn't make the cut.
Such a great concept - congrats on nailing the delivery. Horror, suspense, a twist/reveal towards the end. Well done. There's so much to like about the story, but my favorite line (partial line, actually) was a minor one: "...I decide I like Vicki." As someone who is also a writer, I know this type of feedback is borderline useless because I can't tell you exactly WHY I liked it so much, but it just hit right.
Thank you very much. Your kind words made my day.
Very enjoyable read. Well Done.
Thank you. Very pleased to hear you enjoyed it.
Mystery and suspense kept me guessing--anticipating the action. I read it at breakneck speed and didn't feel tired! I just had to know--couldn't put it down. Good balance of casual and quiet--clinical or detective scenes--with implied action, and the worst violence happens "off camera." Jeckyll and Hyde scenario, but more believable and visceral. You gave some innuendo and let our minds fill in the details in ways that only we can scare ourselves the most. Bravo! I feel like I have exercised my brain without having to leave my chair, and my Apple watch will probably tell me my heart rate was elevated. Exercise and entertainment--I think you are on to something!
But I'm going to avoid the urge to go look at myself in the mirror.
Thank you very much for your kind words and thoughtful comments. Very glad you got so much out of it. Interesting idea about Jekyll and Hyde - I'm not sure if I thought of that myself, but I see it now. As for the heart rate, I hope a few deep breaths will help!
I wonderful read. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you. So glad you enjoyed it.
Fun read, interesting twist! I’d almost like to see it in longer form I love a good unreliable narrator novel, gives time for the reader to discover all the info bit by bit. As a chronic pain sufferer I felt the cold steel in eyeball description.
Thank you very much. Interesting idea about making it a longer piece. I think I was working to a wordcount at the time. I submitted it to an anthology but it didn't make the cut.
Sorry to hear about your pain. That must be so difficult.